This is a brief take.
I wanted to talk about a topic on this fine summer day that happens to us all.
We have feelings and people gaslight us. Gaslighting is when someone manipulates you and twists your thoughts and words. You become so confused that you think everything is your fault.
Gaslighting is a huge red flag. Huge! Don’t just stop, but continue walking in the opposite direction if someone treats you this way.
Gaslighting is when someone makes you feel like your thoughts and opinions are irrelevant. They make you feel insecure, stupid, and small. They do this to distract from their own inadequate feelings. They are miserable and misery looks company. That’s why they have to bring you down. They bring others down to build themselves up. That’s how disgusting they really are. They can’t stand seeing other people happy – especially if it has nothing to do with them.
I have encountered this a lot lately and it’s so crazy. This is definitely something no one deserves in any type of relationship.
My suggestion is to vet romantic prospects carefully. Everyone does not wish you well. Every partner will not celebrate your successes with you. Some get jealous. They get so jealous they sabotage your happiness. It isn’t worth dealing with any of that just to protect someone’s fragile ego.
Everyone does deserve love. I truly believe that. I just hope people stop getting so desperate that they pick bad partners. Please don’t get so desperate for love that you slip into a relationship with someone who gaslights you. They won’t change. They never change. When you leave them, they just slide over to another victim.
An example of gaslighting is when someone lies to you so much because they don’t respect you. If you are in a relationship you should be able to trust your partner. If you know your partner lies to you all the time, it isn’t good to stay with them. It isn’t healthy to be with anyone that doesn’t love you, respect you, and tell you how they feel. You shouldn’t be with anyone that hides things from you.
It isn’t healthy to be with someone that doesn’t care enough about you to take you out in public. You should be with someone that wants to claim you! You should be with someone who happily tells others you are the one! You should be with someone who happily pays for date night with no strings attached.
It’s that simple. No more letting jerks out there gaslight you so they can have their way. You deserve all the happiness too. You deserve someone that gets excited to do things for you. They want to treat you well and they don’t make you feel like you owe them anything. They do what they do because they truly love and care for you.
Be the opposite of the gaslighter. Be someone’s peace. Be someone’s helpmate. Be someone’s joy. Be someone’s best thing they ever had.
2 Replies to “Gaslight, Redlight”
That’s very true! We all want someone who respects us and is happy to show us off in public – not just brag to their friends about scoring. I also like that you pointed out some partners will gaslight when they’re jealous – they try to make you feel smaller or less successful than they are. I invited a guy into my home and he remarked how small it was and that his one bedroom was bigger than my whole apartment – at the time I thought he was just being immature but I honestly think he was jealous I had my own place and was happy in it. He wasn’t too happy at the time and I hoped to be someone who could help him, but as you say, misery loves company.
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You are so correct, Sara. They love bragging and trying to make other people feel bad.
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