Many of us are not given the tools as kids to regulate our emotions. We are not taught how to navigate through anger, pain, hurt, depression, heartache, confusion, stress, and disappointment. People don’t know how to handle all those hurdles so they only care about how to get you back to happy (because that’s what they can deal with).
I have learned that the quick “getting back to happy” is counterproductive. It really is necessary to move organically through our pain and hurt. We can’t rush through this process. For example, there are lessons to learn through each stage of grief. Grief does not just come from the death of a loved one. Grief comes out of understanding sometimes that your mother may never love you the way you want her to or that your father never wanted you in their life. You have to learn to grieve that you will never have the supportive mother your friends had. You have to grieve that your father really wasn’t ready to be a father to you. We have to grieve that we don’t have the control over our lives that we think we do. It’s hard.
The best self-care is to be honest with yourself and your needs and wants. This is how it starts. You have to start asking yourself the real questions:
Am I really lonely?
Why do I have late-night cravings?
Is this a healthy friendship?
Is my sibling toxic?
Am I happy with my career choices?
Should I go to or back to college?
Do I have a healthy relationship with money?
Am I comfortable in my own skin?
Ask yourself the DEEP QUESTIONS. Take a drive somewhere. Connect to nature and have this conversation with yourself. Talk to God. Find out what is the best strategy for your life.
Then what you need to do is make sure you are setting boundaries in your friendships, relationships, and in your family. Teach people how to treat you.
Talk it out.
Meditate and release.
Stay active! It is so important to stay active. Keep the blood flowing to the brain. Walk. Jog. Run. Please just do something that is active because it helps your brain as well. Do crossword puzzles or play fun trivia on your phone or computer to keep your brain fresh. Learn a new activity. Life is about new experiences. Have fun!
Take care of yourself! Peace and Blessings!