Forgiveness Helps Us Move Forward

We all know the definition of forgiveness but do we all really know how to put it into practice. See, the thing is that forgiving is HARD. I don’t know why people act like it’s easy. It is not. I am here to be honest about it.

The Pandemic provided many of us time to THINK. Really think. I know for some people the extra time provided moments to think about things they hadn’t thought about in a long time.

The Pandemic forced them to sit down and really deal with their past pain. I now understand why some people have to go…go…go. They don’t want to sit down because then they would have to face some tough stuff. They don’t want to face the challenges of their childhood or early adulthood.

Some people don’t want to think about why their last relationship ended or why family and friends stopped talking to them. Many people don’t like looking in the mirror because then it would mean they messed up. A lot of people don’t want to acknowledge the part they played in their drama series.

What I learned through the Pandemic is that there are a lot of hurt people. Unfortunately, sometimes HURT people hurt people. It’s a sad part of life. Some people like to dredge up the past and you can’t fall for it. I know of some people who had to deal with the sad situation of someone throwing past hurt into their faces last year and this year.

This is how I view forgiveness: I try to do a better job of explaining why I took something the wrong way, why I got in my feelings, and then try to think logically. There are many times we get upset with people not because they actually wronged us but because there was miscommunication. People don’t talk things out like they should and that’s a problem. Everyone has a different way of thinking. Everyone does not interpret things the same way you do. That’s why talking things out is important. You don’t want to end up cursing someone out over something that could have easily been settled through a phone call (because you misunderstood the situation). Be the big person and say “I’m sorry…I misunderstood you. I misread the situation.”

Forgiveness is for the times you hurt someone and for the times someone hurt you. It’s both. I’m addressing both here.

It’s not good to hold grudges. It can kill you or get you killed. It’s not worth it. I know some people who still hold onto the fact that their parents did them wrong thirty years ago. Well, I’m sorry that happened to you. Unfortunately, none of us can go back in time. The best I can tell you is to forgive them for not knowing better or doing better. It doesn’t mean you forget. What you can do is decide what relationship you want to have with them now. If your parent or parents have passed on – don’t let yourselves get down about the parts of them that angered you. Focus on the good times. My hope is that there were good times to focus on. If there were no good times…you can still say “well…I have the victory. I’m living a good life so that’s my story”. Let the fact that things are going well for you NOW be your story. That’s what you focus on.

If someone really hurt you, you should not want to keep them in your life. Let them go. I think it’s so important to let certain people go. Some people have to be right and that’s sad. There are just some people that HAVE to have the last word and always be the one that is RIGHT. Those are the people you have to pray for and move on.

Peace and Blessings!

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